Tyrone gets his just desserts — Sally

CHANNEL HOPPING:

IN an emergency situation, DO switch on breaking news and count tins of baked beans in the cupboard.

DO NOT, unless you go by the name of Tyrone Dobbs, fling the Christmas tree across the living room, dismantle the mantelpiece and sink to your knees in frustration. Arthur Fowler did that once in “EastEnders” and look where it got him.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t expect Corrie’s most crestfallen to chill in the yard and listen to Kiss FM. But I honestly thought he would have taken the news of Weatherfield County’s latest postponement a little bit better than that.

Poor Ty. First he lost the bloke he called dad when Jack soared off to the great pigeon loft in the sky, then Molly was lost int’ tram crash.

Next, back-stabbing best mate Kev went astray and the baby boy Ty had always craved was snatched from his grasp too. No wonder he went for Kev in the street.

The only thing Tyrone hasn’t managed to lose yet is his beer gut, not helped by “Marioh” who couldn’t help but do a bit of emergency shopping.

“Pepperoni — I can’t believe you remembered,” said Ty as his ever-fragrant ex came gliding through the back door with bags from Freshco’s.

I can’t believe they were ever together. Thin and crispy and deep pan should always remain mutually exclusive. Bet he didn’t expect Sally for afters though.



RACEY Tracy’s return is the talk of the cobbles, but what amazed me the most wasn’t the fact she went through more blokes than Tyrone’s had hot dinners before someone finally banjo’d her one, but how she ever recognised little Amy in the first place.


“Amy” has been played by at least three different pip-squeak actresses ever since Trace became confined to the clink. Tracy herself has had more faces than the town hall clock since the days when she used to just go upstairs and play her tapes. Inevitable then, that someone should cave one of them in. Not before time.


Soap roar: “You want to be a butcher — well I suppose it’s apt” — Claire on Tracy’s inquiry to buy Ashley’s shop in “Coronation Street”.


Soap bore: “Bamboo shoots? What the hell am I supposed to do with them?” — Kevin ponders the new kitchen arrangements at Chez Webster.


“Do you really want me to answer that?” — Sal puts revenge on the menu.