Cobbling together Tramgate aftermath

CHANNEL HOPPING:

FOUR funerals and a wedding is how they billed it — and as Tramgate rumbled along in Corrie this week, there was at last some light at the end of a very gloomy tunnel.

Questions were being answered. What caused the Weatherfield line to come plunging down over the viaduct for instance.

That one’s easy. Nick’s other big secret — ie: the fact that he’d left the gas on at The Joinery — blew the street away with far more oomph than any imminent leak to Peter about fondling Leanne’s taps behind the bar ever could.

The wedding? Easy. Peter and Leanne’s impromptu service at the hospital.

Four funerals? This is where it starts to get a little tricky. Let’s see, there was Ashley, Molly, Charlotte and... er?

Of course. Being crushed under the rubble might not have stopped Sunita being rescued from death’s door with seconds to spare — it did, however, while clinging to this mortal coil and making it through the night, somehow enable the corner shop stewardess to get her hair done in time for Molly’s wake.

Some say the tram driver will complete the quartet, but in fact Sunita was the real fourth person to dye. And they say it will never be the same again.



A COUPLE of months is a long time in “EastEnders”. One minute you’re doing up your ballet shoes in front of “The Wizard of Oz” — and the next you’re beating up your dad, who just happens to be Phil Mitchell — the ’ardest geezer on the Square.

Since gentle Ben’s release from juvenile detention, the one-time Walford weed has become two-faced, handy with his fists and completely lost the ability to communicate . . . yes, he’s finally started acting like one of the faaamly — even if no-one’s noticed it’s not actually Ben.

I hate it when soaps replace actors like that. And there’s no excuse for doing the same thing with the character.


Soap roar: “Got somefink to show you . . . somefink that’ll really put a smile on your face,” — Connor tries to put some business Whitney’s way on Walford market. “If that’s your best chat-up line, you need help, mate.” It’s no deal from Whit.



Soap bore: “If I wanted to work in a war zone, I’d be running a pub in Baghdad,” — Kat, while going through what must be the longest pregnancy in history, complains about rowdiness in the Vic.