Say cheese; we could be here a while...

THE ART OF POSING:

Being asked to crack a smile for a third and final time by a photographer who appears to have lost all hope can cause a person to question their ability in the posing department.

Digital cameras mean you get an instant insight into the success of every attempt and if you’d assumed the first photo was ruined by bad light, your confidence may begin to wane when, after take two, the person holding the camera grimaces and says: “I’ll delete that one as well.”

By your third effort, “there we are, that’ll have to do,” is probably the best you can hope for.

Perhaps it’s just that you’re not much of a poser and you certainly wouldn’t be alone. Most families have a couple of members who aren’t and I imagine they tire of having to insist that they were smiling. They probably wish for the time when it took people six months to get their photos developed.

It’s strange that posing on request comes so naturally to some while for others it’s like they’ve never been asked before. Some beam a beautiful smile at the drop of a hat, others grit their teeth tentatively as if they’re about to get shot.

What you’re trying to do when posing is control the way you look. General expressions to go for are attractive, serious, silly or sexy. If I’m going for an attractive pose I momentarily make my cheekbones more defined and add a touch of sparkle to my eyes. Not too much, though, or my right eye starts to twitch.

A silly pose should be used by those on the edge of group photos at parties and it requires a big toothy grin and a head at a jaunty angle. I think, subconsciously, the hurt of not being more centrally placed brings out the attention-seeker in us.

The sexy pose should have a smouldering look of seduction and just a whiff of enticement although many people who’re under the impression they’re capable of pulling it off include a touch of creepiness as well.

The one time when you really must have a pose ready is in the rare moment that you by chance bump into a celebrity. Believe it or not, I actually had my photo taken with Mick Hucknell, of Simply Red fame once.

I think he reads this column and I could tell he was a bit nervous as he approached. I’ve got used to dealing with my public though so I made him feel at ease and asked which of my poses he’d like me to employ.

I clicked my fingers and pointed to switch on my smile and his friend took the photo but then pulled her face. “Stay where you are,” she said, “I’ll delete that one.”




Next week: The art of cheese boarding.