Know your bottom line, and aim higher

The art of... NEGOTIATION:

Negotiation is a way of finding agreement and common ground. It’s a route to compromise, a way of resolving conflicts. It’s important in business, relationships and life generally and often you’ll do it unconsciously.

At home there could be negotiation about who washes up or what you watch on TV. It might be you have to negotiate for your turn in the bathroom in a morning. Once there, it may be that you have to negotiate your way round the last inhabitant’s undies on the floor.

When trying to settle a matter through negotiation there are a number of possible outcomes. “Win win” is where you both do well. “Win lose” is where one side does much better than the other. “Lose lose” is where you’ll both really wish you hadn’t bothered.

It’s always worth considering what deal you’re prepared to accept before you begin the discussions. Once you’ve decided on your bottom line, you should aim for better. With access to the bathroom I hope for “while there’s still some hot water” but my fallback position is always “in time for me to make it to work”.

The toughest of negotiating techniques is the bluff and you should use this in business dealings. You have to hold your nerve for this one. The turkey salad barm may cost £2.99 but if the café owner is under no illusions that you won’t pay a penny more than £2.93, the onus is on him to accept your final offer or lose the sale. Playing hardball like that, he may even throw a bit of spit in for free as well.

Some conflicts can be extremely volatile, making a negotiated settlement more of a challenge. Here I’m thinking about disputes like the one in the Gaza strip, that between the Koreas and those between a parent and toddler in a supermarket.

The child’s negotiating position is strong because they’re prepared to scream and instinctively know you’d really rather they didn’t. Your offers of compromise seem destined to fail.

A breadstick is dismissed out of hand. What about a tangerine? It appears their bottom line remains the packet of Smarties they spotted two aisles back. As more people begin to stare and two security guards appear, panting and out of breath, the pressure is on but you should stand firm.

And then, in a flash, the toddler tears can stop. Victory? Not likely, they’re just thinking of their next move. “Ok, I just have chocolate buttons.”

Really, we should have them do the negotiations when we’re buying a house.



Next week… The Art of Getting Christmassy