Holiday couples on a slippery slope

IT'S not supposed to happen quite like that! Stuart Wade shows his class to (l-r) Adrian Bouchet, Kate Coogan, Loveday Smith, Richard Oldham and Catherine Kinsella in the Coliseum's comedy On The Piste

ON THE PISTE, Oldham Coliseum.

Ah, Austria; land of mountains, snow, gluhwein and dodgy family relationships.

And speaking of the last of those, we Brits know a thing or two about exporting our squabbles to the slopes.

According to John Godber’s comedy “On the Piste”, there’s nothing we like better than to go on a skiing holiday and to have a rotten time with our loved ones.

The show starts rather well, with a great gimmick that demands the actors do a bit of real skiing on stage.

Designer Richard Foxton has created a terrific set for the Coliseum’s opening show of the season, covered in artificial ski mat that performs pretty much like the real thing, albeit with a run 15ft or so long.

A stage set for much swooshing, snowploughing and a broken leg or two? Not exactly.

This is more comedy-ish than straight comedy because for Godber, nothing is ever straightforward.

In among the funny ski and apres ski, (partially) nude sauna and Abba fantasy — don’t ask — we are also treated, if that’s the right word, to couples therapy.

We discover that long-term partners Chris (Stuart Wade) and Alison (Kate Coogan) are bored with each other; apparent lovebirds Bev (Catherine Kinsella) and Dave (Richard Oldham) are far from being a match made in heaven, why Melissa (Loveday Smith) is on holiday alone and why instructor Tony (Adrian Buchet) is not the sort of chap you would ask to show your girl friend the right moves.

All six actors rise manfully to the challenge of the disjointed script — especially Catherine Kinsella and, oddly, Adrian Buchet, whose role is basically to be a young Arnold Schwarzeneggar, only human.

This peek into the holidaymakers’ secret world of pain and regret is fair enough — you couldn’t just fill the evening with a couple of hours of skiing jokes.

But having taken his couples abroad to let their attitudes slide and reveal their true thoughts, it turns out they aren’t very nice people anyway, and this rather cancels much of the air of comedy.

Director Kevin Shaw keeps it all moving quickly but by the close, some will be wondering what and who there was to laugh about.