Single dad John was on the brink until he received life-changing help from Oldham Family Hubs

A single dad has issued an important message to others after receiving life-changing help from Oldham Council's Family Hubs.

John Taylor has been attending parenting workshops and getting support for his mental health to benefit himself and his young son, and he is urging more fathers to do the same.

"You can't be closed off because life is hard," he said.

"Men can be closed off because we are brought up to be hard and to not show our emotions.

"But to be able to go through hard times we also need that soft side.

"I've found that all those deep emotions that you bury, they leak out, and if you're shouting it's all the sadness from your past."

John, 39, sought help after realising he was feeling 'really low'.

He added: "I felt with me, I got to the point of depression and I almost lost the fight.

"I was giving up and I was sad all the time.

"My happy place was zero and I broke down in tears.

"I couldn't regulate my emotions I was so sad."

John has been supported on his parenting journey by the Oldham Parenting Team through the council's Family Hubs offer to give children in Oldham the best start in life.

The Family Links Nurture programme shows parents how to manage feelings and behaviour to achieve a more positive relationship with their child.

Triple P discussion groups help parents manage behaviour problems and resolve conflict.

And the Youth Connect 5 course run by Calm Ahead, which provides courses and workshops for adults around mindfulness, building resilience and mental health, helps children develop strong emotional wellbeing.

John has also been helped by the charity POINT SEND, supporting parents, carers, children and young people with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities, NHS Oldham Talking Therapies, Men Behaving Dadly, a charity for dads and male carers and their children, the men's suicide prevention charity Andy's Man Club, Tameside, Oldham and Glossop Mind and First Choice Homes.

"You can't be on your own," he said.

"The advice that you get and meeting other dads is invaluable and I don't feel sad anymore.

“People need to be aware about the services out there.

"When it comes to mental health the help is there, but sadly not everyone knows until it's too late.

"That's why there are so many suicides."

He added: "If I crumble, as a single parent there is no one else to pick my pieces up.

"But I feel stronger and I feel more confident as a parent.

"The support I have received has put a different perspective on parenting, helping to deal with behavioural issues and processing emotions."

Parenting Officers Joanna Bird and Nicola Carnes are pleased to have seen John embrace his time on the courses, which have seen his development as a parent and willingness to make changes for himself and his son week on week.

Joanna said: "It has been a pleasure to see John go from a parent who was low in confidence and doubting his parenting ability to being able to recognise how his expectations of his son were impacting on his relationship.

"John has been an active and vocal part of the groups. He was not shy to discuss how his low mental health impacts on his ability to be consistent with parenting.

"He is now able to support others with their own parenting journey, with the tools he has learned on the parenting groups."

And Nicola said: "John’s confidence and relationship with his son has blossomed and John has a better understanding of why his son might behave in certain ways and how he can handle this in a more constructive and positive way."

The Oldham Parenting Team is part of the 0-19 Right Start Service and there are four Parenting Officers based in each of the five districts in Oldham.

The Family Hubs provide services and activities from a range of partner agencies including parenting support, maternity, infant feeding support and speech and language.

For more information about the support available to you, and your nearest Family Hub visit: familyhubs.oldham.gov.uk

And for queries about parenting support, email: parentsupporthub@oldham.gov.uk

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