Honour bound

Forced Marriage Conference report

A MOTHER holds still the legs of her pregnant daughter while her son strangles the life out of her — and then stands in the dock and defends her actions on the grounds of honour.

This was just one of the many shocking stories revealed during a conference on forced marriage at the Queen Elizabeth Hall, in Oldham, on Friday.

Rukhsana Naz was killed by her family because she refused to abort the baby she was carrying — a baby her family feared belonged to her boyfriend, not the husband they had forced her to marry.

The harrowing tale was recounted to the delegates by Anna Hardy, a support worker for Karma Nirvana, a Derby-based organisation which provides practical and emotional support to people who have survived a forced marriage or fear they will become a victim of one.

Ms Hardy told the conference, which was organised by the Domestic Abuse Partnership, about the concept of Izzat, or shame and honour, which dictates the lives of the many men and women who phone their helpline.

“Many of the women who speak to us tell us that honour completely dictates their life and that it is the duty of the daughter to carry the family honour” she said.

“They have told us that honour dictates how a woman dresses, how she behaves inside and outside the house, who she can talk to, marry and have as friends.

“One girl even said to us ‘Izzat is the biggest issue in an Asian woman’s life and with every bad word a reputation can die’.

“Mere suspicion that a child is not behaving according to their family’s wishes is often enough to condemn them.

“Many will not be allowed to go to school and if they resist their parents’ wishes they will be put under surveillance. Often, other people in the community will report back to parents about what they are doing. Even GPs have reported back to families.”

Anna offered advice to the many organisations present, including NHS Oldham, Oldham Council and the Oldham Mosques Council.

She said that many victims don’t speak out because they are worried about starting a new life on their own without family or community support.

Others were frightened of being found — families have employed private detectives and bounty hunters and one man who came to Karma Nirvana has had to change his address countless times because his family regularly uses his national insurance number and medical records to trace him.

She also warned of the dangers of approaching the family if a child has a problem which might be related to forced marriage or honour.

She recounted the tale of one teacher who was concerned that a girl in her class was dropping grades.

She approached the family and asked them whether this was because the girl in question had a boyfriend.

The girl was murdered by her family because the teacher had alerted them to the fact that she was seeing a boy.

She also outlined the importance of recognising clients’ wishes , reassuring them about their confidentiality and arranging to meet them in a secure and private place.

Most importantly, the agencies should not underestimate the threat that the perpetrators pose.

Banaz Mahmod was not taken seriously when she talked to the Metropolitan Police and was later found dead in a suitcase in Birmingham after her uncles and father murdered her.

Her crime? Kissing her boyfriend in the street.

The conference also heard from Ralph Jones, from the Home Office’s Forced Marriage Unit.

He told delegates that sometimes victims have been promised by their families from birth and that a catalyst for a marriage taking place might be the victim behaving in a way that their family disapprove of, such as smoking or drinking or texting members of the opposite sex.

Sometimes, a family will try to marry off a homosexual child in a bid to ‘cure the problem’.

He also explained the forced marriage civil protection act, which gives the courts the power to make a protection order to prevent a forced marriage.

And he outlined the work being done to bring people home once they have been taken away against their will and said:

“It can take many weeks and months to find someone. One girl who was in Azad Kashmir managed to phone us from the toilet at the same time every day and we eventually found her and brought her back. No matter how long it takes to find someone, we will never give up on them.”


Not Islamic practice

“FORCED marriage is not an Islamic practice and this needs to be highlighted.”

That was the message coming from Paveen Yaqub, chairman of the Black Workers’ Forum.

She said: “I think it’s really good that this issue is being highlighted, but it would have been nice to see a representative from the local Muslim community invited on to the panel, to highlight the fact that this is about warped and misguided notions of cultural ideas and not Islam.

“Forced marriage is totally Haram (forbidden) in Islam and it’s important that we remember that. Forced marriage is not as prevalent as it was. It’s great that the Government is focussing on it, but 15 years ago we all knew someone who was going through it and thankfully it’s much more rare in Oldham now.

“It’s important that we tackle this issue, but also that we put it into context and realise how far we have come.”


It’s fact

::At least 12 honour killings take place each year in this country.

::The Association of Chief Police Officers (ACPO) has ordered 110 murder cases to be reviewed because they may have links with honour crime.

::The Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO) deal with around 400 cases of repatriation annually and receive around 5,000 calls for support each year.

::The majority of individuals are aged 15-24, but 30 per cent of cases involve minors, with 10 per cent under 16.

::In 15 per cent of cases, men are victims.

::Asian women are two to three times more likely to commit suicide- Karma Nirvana is concerned that this may be down to families encouraging women who are deemed to have brought shame on them to commit suicide because it is ‘cleaner than murder’.

::As well as South Asia, forced marriage also exists in Turkish, Iranian, Somali and traveller communities.